You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
