you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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