sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize