Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
