we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
