Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
