i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize