i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
