Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
