She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
