remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
