I just made out with a guy for $7.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
