i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
