I need to stop coming to work sober
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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