Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize