I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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