I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize