Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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