so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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