my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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