belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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