I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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