It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
