It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
