tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize