I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
