Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize