and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
