that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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