Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
