so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Randomize
