I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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