I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
