scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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