HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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