At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
