His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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