so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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