i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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