what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
