dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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