WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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