if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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