and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
