CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
