No, you can still breathe under the balls.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
