Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
