I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
