he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
