recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
