Got a toothbrush?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
