I skipped work to stalk him.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
