She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize