Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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