He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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