One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
