Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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