it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
