Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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