I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
did i walk over a car last night?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
