theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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