sarcasm needs its own font
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How naked do you want me to be?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
