it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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