So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
