u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
