..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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