whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
