i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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