I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
