is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
