I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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