After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
