Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
