the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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