i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
