wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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