Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
