North Korea, Best Korea!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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